Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
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