she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
worst night to have a conscience
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Randomize
