Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
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