yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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