That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
