it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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