just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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