The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
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