I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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