It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
