I'm going to jail i love you
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Randomize
