He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize