In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
