i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
