Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
