I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
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