you turned your livingroom into a bong?
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
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