I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
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