Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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