Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize