So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
I'm really busy with my period
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