dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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