Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
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