I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I just cut my nipple shaving
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Randomize
