Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
