i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
