Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
