I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Can you bring me the toilet please
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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