nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
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