just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
