New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Randomize
