Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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