i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize
