..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
