thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
You need a sexual gate keeper
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
