There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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