Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
