areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Randomize
