I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Randomize
