apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Randomize
