non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I made him laugh his dick is mine
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
The adults are the big ones right?
Randomize
