it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
Randomize
