so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
