My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
