Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
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