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the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
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