nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize