Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
They have beer where we have blood.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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