if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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