Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
