I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize