Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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