I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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