then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize