We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
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