she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
