I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Randomize
