Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize